Taken from the BMR FetLife group:

From all of the personal pleas I receive from subs who desperately want to find a Superior; to those whom posts incomplete, generic ads seeking to be of service… I’m going to throw you a bone.

Subs/slaves, do you want to be taken seriously when searching online? Of course you do, right? But it is still a serious question because what you ultimately want is not translating to what you are putting out there. At least from Mine and few Others I’ve talked to about the frustration of dealing with so-called subs online.

Quite honestly, its enough to make some of Us ignore those posts and pleas altogether because they ALL SOUND THE SAME. The same message, same delivery. Why is it that the majority of you don’t take the time to think about what you are writing and then put it all down so to set yourself apart? Or create a template that can be cut and pasted elsewhere once you write it.

You are probably very sincere about wanting a Dom to take notice and reach out but how has that worked out for you? Are you getting any responses? And if you are, does that contact lead to anything?
I even did an experiment and reached out to a “sub” on this very site who posted here looking for a local Dom. I’m not trying to call him out or anything but I am going to use the incident to make a point.

I responded back to him suggesting that he provide more details as to what he’s looking for. I did this as a reply to his posting as well as directly to him. He responded back to my email after a couple of days. I did take a look at his profile and was intrigued by the no nonsense tone of it. He didn’t want contact unless it led to an in person meeting to be setup within a week. Plus, he stated he was looking only for real time service and contact. Not cyber. Now, this impressed me and intrigued me even more.  Direct and to the point. Would have even worked as filler for his ad so that I wouldn’t have had to look at his profile for this info.

Our initial conversations on email were productive. Even discussed meeting since we live in the same city. However, it was a bad time as he had some issues at work that needed his full attention. I could understand and sympathize with that so gave him a chance to offer to reschedule. He suggested the following weekend and I set aside some time for this in my busy schedule. But then I receive an email a day before where he explains that he stayed home from work because he was not feeling well, coming down with something. Or something along those lines.

I hate games. I hate liars even more.  Especially the age old “I’m getting sick and don’t want you to catch what I have” excuse.  May work with someone you’re dating or your boss, but if smells like shit… well, you get the point.

I figured he was blowing me off… and not in the literal sense either. Maybe that was not the case (still willing to be objective) but how do I know that? Would’ve been understandable if the cancellation came with a plea or promise to try and make another time work. Something to show that my time was valued.

But no.  Absolutely nothing.

So at this point, he’s just wasted 3-4 days of my time and communication. But, I still gave him one more chance by saying that since I made the first overture of contact that if he wanted to reschedule, he would have to initiate that contact with me.

That was about a month ago (by the time I wrote this).

Again, not throwing him under the bus (although he deserves to be) but you now see the kind of bullshit we as Superiors deal with. And I know that you subs may go through the same things sometimes with other Doms but we are not talking about that right now. The focus remains on what you do as subs when wanting contact with a Dom.

Now, after an opportunity like this has been blown, what am I going to do when I come across another ad, in the future; for a sub who is looking for a Dom? Well… I may glance at it but I won’t take it seriously enough to respond. I may check out his profile to see what he looks like and if he’s written anything about himself to give me an idea of what he’s about, THEN I may reconsider. As I did in this example.

But if there is nothing of significance to read. To give me an idea of what he has to offer, then is it worth my time to give that sub a chance?

Absolutely not.

Why? Because all I see at that point is someone who was too lazy to take the time to write something of substance that would show that the request they are making was real and heartfelt. That unspoken promise that my time would not be wasted by giving it.

So what can you do to give yourself a better chance? Here are a few suggestions:

* Write a detailed ad… even if your goal is just sex, WRITE SOMETHING about yourself.
* Have at least one visible photo(s) of yourself in your profile. Need to be discreet then edit your face out of it. Hell, a nice ass, chest or favorite body pic would do just as well. Or offer to send one immediately upon contact by email (and I mean IMMEDIATELY, not a week later or when reminded to do so)
* Include your general location (if in a big metropolitan area, please be more specific than just London or NYC, such as Chelsea or Brooklyn)
* Optional but impressive, include your availability to meet in person.

All of that will show how much you really want the opportunity. And gives Us an idea of if it would be worth our time to reach out and provide it.

Now again, this doesn’t apply to all of you as there are some good detailed personal ads I’ve seen. But, if this helps those who want an edge in gaining more attention, then here it is.

Always remember, you shouldn’t expect ANYONE to be interested if you can’t sell yourself properly.  Especially when using the Internet as a means to meet other people.

And as always, nothing in life is a guarantee but you won’t know until you try.

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