Introducing the principle that Presentation Is Everything
We all know there are hundreds of thousands of “awakened” people out there seeking to serve a Black Dominant. And, that number continues to rise every year. We also know that the number of true Black Dominants present and available ONLINE are far less than that amount. And, continues to lower every year.
So, what does that mean to the submissive that is genuinely seeking to serve (for reasons other than just sex)? Simple, it’s a Dominant’s market. We have our pick of subs to choose from so you have to STEP IT UP if you want to get Our attention.
Over the years, I have seen subs casually throw themselves out there and then wonder why nothing happens. What you don’t know is that less and less Black Dominants are even interested in the “hassle” of training a submissive. I used to be one of them.
Submissives, here are two of the most valuable questions you need to ask yourself:
- What kind of service am I willing to offer?
- What skills, talents and qualities do I possess that could benefit Him?
These are the type of questions We are seeking from you. Basic questions that should be answered BEFORE you approach Us.
Serving, in my opinion, is easy and one of the most simple jobs. You submit everyday. To your responsibilities, job and civil duties. In this Lifestyle, you don’t have to think. You just do as you’re told. But, I can also admit that can be one of the hardest as well. Especially when you factor in trust. Not just of your Dominant but of yourself as well. The Dominant has to take on the responsibility of controlling another human being and molding them to our satisfaction. If anyone has ever owned their own business, then you know the difficulty of dealing with clashing personalities and finding a healthy compromise. This Lifestyle is the same way. A lot of work goes into molding a submissive into what We want them to be. Give Us the respect We deserve and you reap the rewards for your efforts.
I, for one, will not waste my time on someone who acts like I should be grateful that they are interested. As a sub, you are not my equal. No matter how good you look or how good of a fuck you are. Or even if you are financially better off than me… know your damn role.
Reality check… most Black Dominants are busy with their own lives. Just as I’m sure you are. We want a sub who understands this and works to find a way to fit into our lives. Some of Us want full time slaves. Others just want a nice ass and mouth to fuck. And then there are those who prefer a part time situation where Domination and submission happens when a hookup is scheduled. That’s one of the most wonderful things about this Lifestyle. It’s flexibility and diversity of situations.
My challenge to all of you submissives out there is make a better effort at knowing your role.
What exactly does that mean? Let me break it down for you.
Your role is what you are willing to offer to a Black Dominant. This is something that should be offered up front whereas a Dominant would know what your intentions are.
Below are some examples of roles that subs can offer:
Faggot/Sex slave (submissive bottom)
This position serves the purpose of needing to offer use of ones body for a Black Dominants pleasure. The sub satisfies his needs by knowing he was responsible for his Dominant enjoying his sexual services. The expectation is sex only submission.
GOAL: To be used by a Black Man
Servant/Submissive (full or part time)
This position serves the purpose of offering ones full service to a Dominant. This includes both sexual and domestic. Usually starts out as scheduled visits with the possibility of an upgrade to live-in status (depends entirely on what the Dominant wants). The expectation is overall service. Perfect for subs who only feel complete when they are fully utilized by a Black Dominant. The term “slave” should only be used once you have willingly given complete control over yourself to your Master. Not an easy goal as it requires alot of trust by both parties. That means trusting both yourself and your chosen Dominant.
GOAL: To be owned by a Black Man
We all know you have to start somewhere and those who have only dreamed of what it would be like to serve or service a Black Dominant should approach Us as such. Be up front and honest about your inexperience and seek guidance, advice or friendship with a Black Dominant. You get what you put into it. Who knows, that Dominant may end up becoming your first time experience.
GOAL: To be talked into submitting by a Black man
Lastly, there is the self-proclaimed submissive who is not a submissive at all. he is simply someone who fantasizes about being dominated but is too scared to take the next step. he stays in his comfort zone seeking pictures and videos of his sexual fantasies. he may even attempt to get a Black Dominant to cam or chat with him yet has no interest beyond that. Sadly, this is the most common type of role and the main reason We as Dominants get fed up with them wasting our time.
GOAL: To exploit and use a Black man for your own sexual gratification only.
Being a fetishist only hurts true submissives who actually want the chance to serve. But there is a way for you to prove you are serious in your chosen role… COMMUNICATE! And to be specific… stop with the “hi”, “how are you” or “I love BBC” emails and actually talk about yourself! You have a very small window to make a first impression. To be taken seriously. Squander that and you lose Our interest.
Know your role… know who you are before you seek to know someone else.
It’s been a year since I posted “Knowing Your Role”. I had joined a site called BMR only a week or so prior to posting it in May of 2012. My decision to create it was inspired by the “what are you looking for” options in the member profile for submissives.
From the various contacts I was getting, I had a feeling that most of them did not know what they were looking for. The sexually charged emails were the same as I received on other sites like Recon, Manhunt, Collarspace, Adam4Adam, etc. If I wanted a quick fuck, those other sites would serve a better purpose. So I thought about canceling my membership. Lord knows all I needed was to be a member of yet another hookup site where “I worship BBC” is being played like a broken record.
But then I received an email from a sub who approached me differently. Who had the intelligence to write more than one or two sentences telling me how much he wanted to suck or get fucked by my big black cock. I was intrigued enough to keep reading through the entire email.
The sub talked about how refreshing it was to see another real Dom on the site. That my words spoke to him. Although he lived far away, he wanted to know more about me. He had difficulty finding real Dominants who were comfortable with who they are and was on the verge of giving up altogether… until he came across my Forum posting.
We communicated back and forth for a couple weeks. I shared my blog URL with him as I had begun posting personal articles on it as well. We even chatted via Skype for videoconferencing. He was a good, respectful boy and never did anything that would be considered a waste of my time… which I appreciated greatly.
He got up the courage to ask if I was seeking a slave although he knew because of his career that he couldn’t eventually relocate, so we discussed long-distance servitude. I really liked this sub. He did everything I told him to do without reservation or complaint. Even when there was an issue, he brought it to my attention immediately and we worked it out.
He more than passed my test so I decided to help him out by doing something I rarely do for subs whom I have never met in person…
Referred him to another Master who happened to live closer.
I gave my acquaintance a full rundown on my opinion of the sub and his viability as a potential new servant. It helped that our likes and dislikes were similar and the sub had a build that my friend enjoys as well. Compatibility didn’t seem to be an issue so I arranged to have the two of them meet.
They hit it off just, as I expected, and the sub (as of December 2012) is now serving his new Master full time. They are both happy and are appreciative for my help in bringing them together.
Why am I sharing this?
Continue reading and LEARN.
The sub “knew his role” and thus was able to convince me to spend the necessary time getting to know and trust him. And although distance was an issue for consideration of any kind of permanent ownership, I found him worthy enough to refer to another Dom.
Would I have done that for anyone else?
Hell no! Why would I?
If a sub clearly doesn’t know who he is or even feels comfortable in his role… why the hell would I subject another Dom to that? In this Lifestyle, half of the connections you make are through referrals. The other half is through reputation. PRESENTATION IS EVERYTHING. I think I have mentioned that before… in my circles, I call it the P.I.E. principle.
Most people enjoy a well-baked pie, right? Sweet potato pie, apple pie, pumpkin pie… at first sight or smell, you want to eat it up. However, would you still eat the pie if say… it looked half eaten or damaged? Looked stale and moldy? Or simply was misrepresented as apple pie when in fact, it was rhubarb… and you HATE rhubarb?
I think you get my point.
We all have our favorites or preferences and seek to find the best possible matches to those preferences. That is why presentation is critically important. And that goes for how you represent yourself online.